Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Rumble strips road head = magical
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
