Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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