He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
