Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
