You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
