it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
