Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
