Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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