smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
