I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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