It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
