Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
