My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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