I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
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I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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