i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
