I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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