Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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