i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
