Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize