She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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