it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
