THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize