This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize