I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
