its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
