It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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