Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
