Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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