haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
