ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
