I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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