ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
