She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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