first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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