i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?