I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
