remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
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I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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