oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
