When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You smell like stripper and shame
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
