Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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