My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
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why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she told me i tasted like america
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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