So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
