I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
