Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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