It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You have to summon your inner elephant
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
