forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize