I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize