my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I supernannyed him into submission
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize