Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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