plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
