is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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