I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sorry about my life...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
