separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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