I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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