Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
