guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i need some magic done to my vagina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
