If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
