i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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