So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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