I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize