what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize