Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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