his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
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I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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