i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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