I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
