soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
sex in a hospital.. check
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
